Difficult rationality

(from the archives)

I heard a sound that I couldn't recognise and it appeared to be coming from someone in either distress or an alert to some nearby danger. I walked in direction of sound. even before I locate the source, my interpretation of sound drifted more towards distress than to alert. Soon I also saw the source. A small bird hanging on the gular tree. Two crows were sitting nearby and fearing they will harm the bird caught in Plastic Kite thread, I made gestures asking them to go away, they flew away.

Fortunately there was help at hand. While I saw no way how that bird could be saved but one person climbed on roof below the tree with a long bamboo of I think some 20 feet, he attached burning incense like thing (burning not just at tip but few inches) at the front, targeted plastic thread with swiftness and precision and thread was cut. bird stuck midway and he pushed leaves/branch, bird fell to the ground. It wasn't a bird, it was a small fruit bat. I had not known they were around till then.

It took me 20-30 mins to slowly free his wing from multiple loops of that killer thread. towards the end, bat lost patience and tried to free itself from my grip, and bit my finger - only slightly though. I also managed to get a little scratch from his nail. though it slowed down remaining untangling process, finally it was done and despite one broken bone in the wing, one side of the wing damaged, it managed to fly in short bouts and climbed nearby banana tree. It covered itself in its wings and went to sleeping position - I admired its rationality. If I was him, I most probably would have stayed in panic mode and destroyed any remaining chances of recovery also.

After washing my hand, applying turmeric, also applying antiseptic from nearby dispensary, I googled if bat bite is risky. and well, I was really scarred to read about rabies, other possible infections bats can carry (not fruit bats though). well, the scratch and bite were only slight, and most probably I was more scared than required. actually, definitely my reaction was unwarranted. plus, my innocent little fruit eating bat appeared very healthy- both physically as well as mentally. plus GoI guildlines I found on net stated that in India there was no information on risk from bat and exposure to it can be ignored. even in my worried state, or probably more because of that, I hoped one day to make myself as calm and as rational as the bat. tough target, but worth the efforts - if I can reach there.

Meanwhile, despite the very low perceived risk and lack of information, to get rid of my fear (that I myself could see was irrational) I finally decided 'to err on cautious side' and took rabies vaccine. How intensely I wished then to be like the bat and be rational in future instead of being caught in fear and irrationality loop. If one day I can do that, probably all these short-term problems would prove to be a small cost for a bigger gain.

Cultures

If books/text-books are the most potent tools to create individuals that it wants for a culture, looking at which culture teaches what also gives a shortcut to access the culture's motives.

When a culture teaches that Hitler killed millions (and does not highlight at all those who supported/encouraged/carried out each small step in the process) or that Dyer killed in Jaliyawala (and does not mention in same breath who actually fired the bullets), it trains future children to carry out unimaginable atrocities without any guilt, because they would be 'just doing their jobs'. Such culture would easily create societies where people getting money from the system (employees) can be given a small supari (incentive or just an order) to violate body sovereignty of weaker people they have access to and this news can proudly be published in newspaper. They can then proceed to do their job.

On the other hand, Our culture teaches us about the history where Valiyo was clearly told by even his own family that sin belongs to whose hands has done the sin. as a consequence, he changed his course and became Valmiki Rishi; and by teaching this the culture would create more Rishies and stop most others from at least sliding to criminality.

Myopia: What I learned with own experience

(written few years back) 

History of my own myopia (and how I mismanaged everything about it):

First prescription was -1.75 at the age of around 8, kept adding -0.50 to it at every visit to eye doctor every six months to a year till it reached -6.50/-7.00 at age when he assured it wont rise further. I had strictly worn glasses for each moment when my eyes were open, used huge sized frames that left no room for eyes to catch a glimpse of world directly. Soon after I started working, equally diligently I switched to contact lenses as recommended by the eye doctor - wearing them would help arresting further deterioration was the professional advise - as it would be even more effective in doing what those huge frame glasses did. (Okay, getting rid of those ugly glasses were also a motivation - enough of it even if doctor had not recommended.) With work, computers screens became inevitable part of the day.

Inexplicably, viewing experience did not improve and even started getting worse. Some of it was resolved when I got number rechecked, with higher prescription, though increased astigmatism could not be taken care with lenses not supporting that correction (at that time at least) plus some other deterioration simply started becoming part of life, Say dry eyes towards end of the day which slowly progressed to dry eye as soon as I put on lenses. and of course, I had forgotten what a clear and comfortable viewing experience is. In few years I had reached prescription of -10 / -10.25 sph, -1 cyl in both eyes. I had hit the bottom but at least after a long time, I found this new prescription accurate and satisfactory. (I escaped having my eyes operated to reduce myopia at this moment purely because my luck prevailed over my stupidity)

Some three years later, I was again at eye doctor's place with mom, for her eye checkup. Given that my specs had become nearly opaque due to scratches, even though I had no problem with my prescription, I thought of getting numbers rechecked before making new specs. Indeed, fresh numbers were almost identical to what I was using for so long. btw, during these first of its kind three years when my eyesight didn't deteriorate, I had abandoned my lenses and switched back to glasses, my computer usage had gradually decreased, time with nature increased, trying to find bird among the trees near and far.

Few things happened over next two and half years. My computer + net rarely worked, my interest got shifted from birds to macro photography which changed how my eyes needed to work while photographing as well as time spent under the Sun (which increased significantly) and, in 2013 later half, I managed to find a remedy for my hyper acidity that had reached so troubling level that each day had become a nightmare.

End result of all these (plus probably ageing on my side) was that since mid 2014 my viewing experience through glasses, which was steady for nearly six years now, started deteriorating again - this time for a different reason. My Myopia had reversed its direction. It was reduced by a good 1.5D to be -9.00. Next year there was another reduction of 1D to -8.00 and now, its -7.50.

So, what all things appear to have contributed to my years of horrible viewing experience and what helped reversing the situation?

What Harmed.
Near stress: Both more time spent focusing near and continuously focusing at same near distance.
Lack of time outdoors and under the Sun.
Contact Lenses: By far the most horrible thing to have happened to me

What Helped.
Reversal of all of above factors.
My hyper acidity remedy. Triphala. Even as all the stress factors were reversed for more than five years, my eye sight only had steadied, it didn't start improving until after few months of me using triphala every day. Later, when I was experiencing significant near stress as I continued to use higher powered glasses for few months, also discovered value of triphala eye wash as immediate eye comfort. Its simply amazing.
Macro photography helped in more than one ways I think. Macro subjects often required to concentrate longer for perfect focus as well it was mostly with Sun in front and not back (not looking at Sun, but its still in front), as a result my eyes often felt concentration 'stress' and responded with producing tears. This I think produced much the same effect as Tratak. Second, macro photography required much more steadiness, both physical and mental. I guess that should have helped to improve Vata balance.

Now, I could have written most of above in my March '16 post as well. Why I didn't do it then? its because I had a feeling of missing something. listing out stress factors and set of DOs and Don'ts didn't look like very right way to understand the issue. But then something happened last year which made things clearer. Last year, couple of months were difficult, as in they ended up vitiating my Vata and Pitta quite a lot. Among all other impact it had, my numbers, which had reduced to -7.25 by then went back to -8.00 or even slightly worse. Now, during this sharp deterioration, none of the stress factors were in place and eye specific lifestyle was as good as it could be. yet, I did not wonder why it happened. Because I 'knew' it was due to deterioration of Vata and pitta. You know it takes some time before I realise what I already know. So, that's what I was missing. More elegant solution to eye health and unsurprisingly it tells us that eyes are part of our body. They don't work in isolation/as a stand alone system. and when I look back at all those years since childhood when my numbers were going from bad to worse, what was happening with by Vata Pitta balance? yes, trend was exactly the same.

Say, Someone's bones are very weak. Now, he can try to protect specific bone by being extra careful about it.  But if he can get rid of his bone weakness, he need not worry about each and every bone specifically. Focusing on eye specific care is like protecting specific bone. (and then similarly you go and do specific things for your skin, for your liver, heart...) Maintaining your Vata, Pitta and Kaph in balance is like strengthening bones. 

Does that mean you can go ahead and expose your eyes to any or all stressors? Well.. what do you think will happen to even someone with strong bones if he engages in.. in any bone-breaking activity? Similarly, even if you maintain overall vata pitta balance, constant stressors to eyes can disturb local vata pitta and show effects. Fair usage policy always apply.

Hariyal

It was past mid December and winter cold was due but still almost absent. yet, Sun was surely enjoyable if not the most wanted thing. As I stood at one of my favourite spots, enjoying Sun and looking for birds, heard some movement behind leaves on a nearby tree. I point camera and see a chameleon behind leaves.

I thought it was hiding from me and that I should back off few steps to leave it alone. but before I start looking for birds again, it made an unexpected move. Instead of hiding, it moved up, in clear sight, at eye level and then stayed there.

Now that it was there in clear sight, in good light, not afraid of me, I thought I can take a shot or two. Surprisingly it allowed me very close without any reaction.

I took a few shots but there was that feeling of missing something. I had come across them before and barring one previous experience when I was ignored, I was almost always told that my company wasn't very appreciated. Why this individual was so kind to me then? Anyhow, as I started moving away, saw a crow sitting only few feet above on tree from where the lizard, which was enjoying Sun could be easy target. Crow flew away as I looked at him. So, was that the missing explanation? Did the lizard bet that it was likely that crow would avoid me and I was manageable risk compared to value of Sunshine? I don't know but as I walked off, did make a point to tell the lizard that I am now off and she could be more vigilant against the crow.

As usual, it was again a case where I could neither ask nor prove by any means if my speculation was right or not but it reminded me of similar experience, with human friendly subject, a young squirrel coming down to a branch very close to me to feed using me as shield against a large group of rosy starling.

ok, the point I want to stress here is not so much how other species use us as an asset if and when they can - all my feathered friends - everyday babblers, mynas, doves, crows.. who live around home recruit me for tasks of giving some food to them, ensuring they have water to drink and to bath and that those things are shared in equitable manner etc etc with so much ease that idea of other species interacting with/adjusting their behaviour due to humans doesn't sound special enough to talk about. but then, those individuals know me. they have learned to interact with me over a longer period of time, sometime with first step taken by me, sometime by observing other birds and joining the bandwagon. but in cases of lizard and squirrel, there was no personal touch. it was a purely their tactical decision to make best of few minutes of altered risk profile of environment. It was presence of mind that I find worth admiring.

Talking about presence of mind, again, as such I have been often left impressed or even outsmarted by individuals of many species, mostly those experiences were with bigger animals - Dog/Cow/Monkey.. A recent experience I am sharing below is however somewhat different. its not with one of those bigger species who often deal with humans and neither its only about display of intelligence.

Some two weeks back, around 11 AM, after first ignoring and then paying attention to some activity, I see a Shikra was sitting on ground holding... a very big yellow fruit??. ok, i knew I didn't understand what I was seeing and go near the Shikra, Shikra flies off. A yellow footed green pigeon is sitting on the ground. He didn't try to fly off even as I stood next to it nor did he resist when I picked it up, took inside and put it in a way that I thought it will feel secure. Pigeon was injured yet appeared in good shape. but he was very scared. He was also fully water socked due to rain that had continued for most of previous night.

I thought best thing to do for initial some time was to leave it alone to calm down. I put some water and some puffed rice in front of him and leave him alone. He sat there, facing wall with eyes closed. Once or so I tried to encourage it to drink some water only to find it pushing itself towards wall not looking in my direction at all. When I left it alone, it appeared to be sleeping so didn't disturb it much except for cleaning the droppings and sprinkling some turmeric powder around where it was injured.

After some 3 hours he was still facing wall, sleeping and had shown no interest in even water. He still appeared somewhat scared, but I think he had got used to me talking to him by then. I remember then what I should have done much before. check what do they eat. with hindsight now it sounds stupid not to do it before but somehow I didn't imagine a pigeon not eating puffed rice. plus, reason behind offering it wasn't as much to feed it rather, it was to make it comfortable by signalling that 'I am offering food to you, I am your friend'. Anyhow, I now offer a piece of orange and back off again. Still facing the wall, he looks at the orange piece from the corner of his eyes. There is a sudden change of expression - he appears surprised, pleasantly surprised. He looks at the orange, looks at me, looks at orange, and sits there but with his head no longer tucked in or trying to stay near the wall and his eyes are now not only wide open, appears fully awake and active. after another 60 seconds or so, he was facing me, not the wall. He still wouldn't eat or drink.

After few minutes, he tries to fly but strange little enclosed place in which we humans live beats him completely. He flies into wall, kind of panics but finally manages to perch at height of few feet with a pipe to hold on. that was a set back to his moral. he went back to his facing wall posture. but a real boost to my moral, not only his eyes, legs and general health was okay, wings were largely unhurt too. and so far as reigniting the sense of trust, hint of which I had seen just few mins back, if it had happened once, I was confident we will be able to establish communication once more too. Offering banana fails, Guava fails, water too has no impact either as before. Confidence however is good thing and I know what to do next. I open the window (it has mosquito net so he is still protected from outside threats), invite my daily friends babblers outside window. As they excitedly feed on Roti making a lot of happy noise, Hariyal has no option but to take notice. He again turns his back to wall and I knew it wont choose to face the wall after this.

Then, routine sets in like this. I go to him with each of the fruits and water one by one, hold it in front of his beak, he shows non interest. I persist. he turns his head 15 degrees to the left, 15 degrees to the right, left, right.. with moderate to fast speed, also opens and closes his beak sometimes. I still don't back off and continue to talk requesting to eat or drink. he turns his head, tucks in on his back, closes eyes and ignores me completely. I finally give up - for next hour or two.

Next morning. Hariyal still didn't have even a drop of water, or eat anything. I decide to move him to a small room leading to front door. He didn't want me to hold it but accepted my fingers as perch more readily. I wondered what he must be thinking as he crossed home sitting on my hand, looking at it with tourist like interest. Could it be thinking that these land confined creatures are strange, impossible to understand and quite stupid, but probably not as bad as their reputation goes? Anyways, we reach desired destination and I want it to sit there. He doesn't want to leave my hand and responds to my attempts of reclaiming my hand by climbing sideways on to my arm, pushing its body to upper arm. Anyways, I somehow persuade him to sit there, repeat my babbler trick, this time they come inside from the front door, spend a minute with him, even think if they should consider fruit platter in front of Hariyal their own, but leave without doing so in the end. Front door is open, Hariyal however doesn't show any interest in following babblers to the world under the open sky.

He doesn't show any interest in fruits or water too. I was worried now. ok, not wasting energy in digestion and using it for recovery may be a right choice and I trusted his decision with respect to his recovery more than my wish that he eats something, but not even a drop of water? was that ok? he was looking better and better in last 22 hours, but still. As the last attempt, I find trees with ripe figs, yellow footed green pigeon's favourite food, bring two varieties of them (trees were actually very near) and add to the fruit platter. He doesn't eat them either. just calmly sits there looking outside the window.

At almost same time when Shikra caught him 24 hours ago, it suddenly becomes restless. He wants to go out. Immediately. attempts going out through window, but there is mosquito net. Main door is closed and after running to the wall, ceiling, he settles above the main door. I open the door, offer him my hand to shift to. He doesn't refuse. I lower the hand and he is facing open world now. but doesn't fly away at first opportunity. I walk few steps and now we are out in the open. I tell him that I would love to see him flying off to his world but its up to him to take a call. if he isn't confident yet, there is no compulsion to go. He can stay back as long as he wishes. He patiently listens to me as I speak to him, then looks up, surveys trees around, looks at me again for a long, calm, unhurried moment, and, takes off. Selects the same neem tree from which he had fallen.

Story telling is difficult from this point onward. Its not easy to describe that happiness of seeing him flying combined with a sudden acute realisation that the only thing that occupied mind till previous moment has left for its own world. With some difficulty I located it inside similar coloured leaves. and remembered - a photo? Yes, I had not taken a single shot of him so far. so rush to pick up camera and take below shot.

 

I notice in this shot what I might not have noticed otherwise. sharp edged claws. No wonder his each step on my arm had left three inches long scratches that had swollen instantly.

He was sitting there alone on tree, I stood below. He stayed there for almost five ten minutes and took off again. He gains height, crosses me overhead, I watch extremely nervously, is he flying fine?, oh he is not aiming for next tree, continues his flight and lands on a leafless tall tree far off. I couldn't believe what I saw. He had joined a group of his kind! He was neither vulnerable nor alone any more.

He was not more than a small dot far away but I point my camera to him for one last time anyway. I would have found even a picture where I knew one dot was my Hariyal a valuable one and the shot I got was this..

As rest of the group sat on that tree facing featureless sky, my Hariyal had turned its head and was looking back. with chocked voice I tried to speak 'Don't worry about me, I will be fine'.

No 'Why'? Why not?

Some abilities are very useful and we keep stressing its importance. Say, ability to ask questions and ask right questions. but, what I want to talk about today is not this useful ability to ask question. It is something infinitely more useful ability of ours. 

So useful that we have been wise enough to not leave its control to conscious manipulation. Its kind of hard coded so we cant damage it using our intelligence. I am talking about our ability to NOT ask. Our ability to accept things without requiring to ask why? how?. If we could not start learning without first understanding all 'why's wrt everything we learn, we probably could never learn anything.

Usually, even though we have not asked 'why/how' at initial stages of learning something, in course of time, we end up knowing answers to most 'why/how's.

For questions where our intelligence is sufficient on stand alone basis, we would know full answer, in some other cases, we rely on collectively validated intelligence of others and have a feeling of knowing answer when those trusted people/groups know it. 

We are also pretty good at discarding/weeding out a lot of concepts we had acquired without asking once we have sufficient information showing them as incorrect/irrelevant /past its useful life. But, probably this mechanism of discarding/weeding out is not as efficient as original mechanism of acquiring concepts. (simply because its much less critical in comparison, I believe.) and it can create some funny problems for us.

Let me give you an example. I, like others around me, had encountered 'face/par value' as a required feature of equity share - and it was accepted without asking any question whatsoever. It continued to claim its validity well past the point where I had enough knowledge to see its irrelevance. It still existed simply because there was no trigger to see if it was a candidate for weeding out. 

But one day, the trigger came. I learned that in some parts of the world, they issue equity shares without face value. There was an immediate opposition as it clashed with long existing concept (and so much of terminology weaved around it). But of course, there was very clear set of information gathered since accepting 'face value' as required feature that the moment that 'accepted without questioning concept' was put to test, it immediately stood out as completely useless - and got weeded out. So far so good. but then comes the funny part. After my own enlightenment, in most of the cases where I happened to point this out to others still thinking face value as useful concept, I met with a very strange reaction - most of them simply couldn't see its irrelevance. I actually thought it was irritating (rather than just strange) reaction. It was not that they lacked any of the information required to see it. and still, they simply didn't see it. I till now used to think it was simply lack of intelligence (even as they displayed much better level of intelligence in other issues.) but now I think it was something else.

So, what decides which concept will enjoy immunity and which will be exposed to challenges of the reason? As I write, I want to revise my visualisation from a clear cut zones of concepts with/without immunity to concepts enjoying different level of inertia. More the number of occasions when its challenged, less the inertia and vice varsa and, reasoning armed with intelligence is like a force challenging the old concept. I also think that the first factor (inertia) can be very decisive in the battle.

But this also means that after all, mechanism to weed out 'wrong' concepts also isn't as inefficient as it sounds. at the end of the day those wrong concepts that you are never going to use wont harm as much and nature is much more perfect than some of us who try not to be perfectionists, but often fail.

P.S.

In above, I have used the word 'intelligence' to mean what actually is two things. 1) Our preferences (free will) + tool that we have to reach our goal -called intelligence. When we look at these two things as two things and not one, self harming / not in one's best interest behaviour by 'otherwise intelligent' can be understood better. Related thoughts here..

https://ekakinchan.blogspot.com/2023/04/is-natural-intelligence-aligned.html